Football's Potential Apps

South American Guide to Manchester


Who better to give an insight into the life of a Manchester home-owner in the ermmm..beeeaaaautiful? footballing city, than two men who live ( or rather have lived) there for a combined 5 years? None other than AC Milan's Robinho and Carlos Tevez ( whereabouts unknown).

Mario Makes Your Choice with Mario Balotelli

Tired of your daily routine? The 9 to 5 iver? The School Run? Rush Hour on the M40? Then all over again. Worry no more, WAM? Ltd have developed an app that lets none other than the articulate and selfless Mario Balotelli make those decisions for you.

Example:

" What should I put for packed lunch tomorrow?"
Mario : " Caviar and crushed diamonds"

" What should I spend my bonus on?"
Mario : " Hand it over to the local street vagrant"

" Should I dump my girlfriend, while she's being interviewed on national television, by text?"
Mario : " Yes you should"

iKen speak Daglish


" Mumble....Luis Suarez......mumble mumble......the boy's got potential.....mumble........only £35 million.......mumble......Stevie G"

Ever wondered what ' King' Kenny is actually saying?  The Liverpool squad have certainly been affected by his low pitched team selections, they obviously can't understand what he is saying if Jordan Henderson starts each game and Jay Spearing gets a first team place as well. Well wonder no more, the team, tired of his murmuring in his half time team talks and pre match squad listing, have created an app that lets the user amplify Kenny's voice whenever he's doing a TV interview.

Note: Charlie Adam was unavailable to aid the players in development, he's still looking for that ball.

Monitor your Heart Rate with Arsene Wenger

Think you're the only one that can get angry? Enter Arsene Wenger. After 16 years of painfully obvious fouls, offsides and penalties not being given, 'The Boss' has constructed an app to measure your heart rate in terms of football events.

Example:

" Away day at the Britannia"

" Last minute penalty not given to Arsenal"

" Last minute penalty given against Arsenal"

" Didier Drogba tumbling over to a Denilson challenge"

" Blatant handball at Old Trafford"

" Letting a 2 goal lead slip at the hands of your fierce rivals"

" Letting a 4 goal lead slip at the hands of Newcastle"

Messi Tracking System

The Arsenal team could have really used this last year. If you're a player about to go toe to toe with the Argentine Maestro, you can't step onto the pitch without this application. Follow the runs and shut out the magician, well try.

For an additional £1, add Iniesta and Pedro to the tracked wizards list.